Blast from the not too distant past

Whoa! Just found this cleaning out my computer. This is the compliation footage I took while researching my thesis in Architecture school.

Does anyone have song suggestions? Currently there is no sound.

ARE: Schematic Design

So I realize this post is a bit delayed.  I figured I would just make a post about each exam after I took (and passed!) it, to give my advice on a study strategy.

For Schematic Design, I believe the procedure is quite simple.  Start with the NCARB sample vignettes.  This will get you familiar with the software, and will help you figure out how much time you will have to play around with layouts.  You do not have a lot of time for the interior layout, so it is best to get very familiar with those tools.  When I did the Kaplan & Ballast mock exams, I was thinking about how I would do my hand-sketching using the NCARB software.

You probably only need to do a handful of practice interior and building layouts.  I did everyone I could get my hands on - I think there were like 20 total.  Definitely overkill.  I did SD first, though, so I wanted to be sure I had well-prepared myself.

I think 2 weekends in preparation for the exam is satisfactory.  Maybe do 10 practice scenarios: 2 or 3 building layouts and 6 or 7 interior layouts.  You should try to develop a shorthand for the different program requirements, that way you don't have to constantly flip back and forth between the drawing screen and the program screen.  I used abbreviations for the different rooms (which NCARB gives you anyway), orientations/proximities, accesses, views, etc.  For anything that is a program requirement you should have a shorthand symbol deduced.

And finally, NCARB practice exams are, again, your most useful resource.

ARE: Structural Systems

I took my third ARE this afternoon.  Yet again, I feel I cannot even speculate as to whether or not I passed.  However, I will offer the following advice to anyone studying.

I found the Kaplan study guides to very disjointed and error-laden.  I would advise supplementing any studying you do with them by some other means.  The practice vignettes are misleading, so do not use them as your only practice resource.  I might actually recommend not using them at all.

I found the Ballast study guides to be more thorough.

I used the Ballast flashcards and the Archiflash cards from ARE 3.1.  All of which were quite helpful.

Absolutely take the NCARB practice test and practice vignette software.  This practice vignette is the single most important one for you to use.  It not only provides you the opportunity to get familiar with the software, but its sample passing and failing solutions depict the important things you need to include or not include.

Take a look at the references NCARB offers, as well.  I was surprised when I took the test today and saw just exactly what each of those referenced charts was.  There is a ton of information available to you as a reference - it would definitely help you to be aware of what that is before you studied.  In retrospect, I wish I had looked up each of those items and made myself familiar with them.

In conclusion, I feel the same as I did with the Building Systems test.  I hope in my heart of hearts that I passed, but I would not be too surprised if I did not.  I am certain my vignette was satisfactory, however.

Now I just wait it out the next couple weeks as I prepare for ARE #4: Construction Documents & Services.

ARE's 2 down, 5 to go

It turns out I passed Building Systems!  When I took it, I was certain I had failed - it felt like I had to guess on half of the problems.  However, somehow I managed to pass and I cannot be more thankful!  (I received my pass letter in the mail right before departing for Thanksgiving festivities!)

Next on the list is Structural Systems.  This is the other big one and I hope I can pass it, too. After that, I expect the rest should be pretty "easy."  I decided to push the exam back, having already scheduled it at Prometric.  I figured I would rather spend the $35 to reschedule it and give myself twice the study time, than to just go ahead and take it risking failure which would mean waiting 6 months to pay another $210 to take it again.

My current exam schedule has me wrapping up the ARE's (supposing I fail none of them) by the end of March.  Which should align nicely with the completion of my IDP.  I think I'm done IDP at the end of April.

I'm not sure how long it takes for NCARB to process all of the IDP and ARE information, but I have heard it can take another 10 months after you're finished before you receive your license.  I will research more into that as I approach.

ARE's under way!

It has been a long while since my last post, so I thought I would put some personal updates in here as a filler until I find something more profound to report.

I started taking the ARE's last month and am scheduled for my second exam on Tuesday.  This past week I received the confirmation letter that I had in fact passed the first one (Schematic Design), so that gives me some confidence for this next one.  I studied close to 60 hours so far for it and feel mildly confident.  There's a TON of information for this one (Building Systems) - it includes everything about plumbing systems, HVAC systems, fire protection, acoustics, environmental influences, lighting, electricity, some accessibility, vertical transportation, code information and regulations, it's like every imaginable component or factor aside from anything structural (which, by the way, is my next exam on December 5th).

I would like to offer insight on studying for this exam, but I do not feel qualified to do that until I know I have passed it.

I will offer, that for the Schematic Design exam, the most important part was being familiar with the NCARB software.  I recommend doing the NCARB practice exams first, then doing any hardcopy exams you can get your hands on, and then finishing up by taking the NCARB exams again.  That is what I did, and by the time I got to round two of the NCARB exam, I had totally forgotten the program and spaces.  (I did probably 10 other practice exams in between)

BOO!

It's that time of year. When scary things are everywhere and Architecture is not excused.






ok. the last one is just funny.

Solar Decathlon 2011

Gather 'round children.

Try not to get too overwhelmed with excitement.

It's that special time again - that's right. I'm talking SOLAR DECATHLON 2011

For those of you who aren't familiar, the solar decathlon is a bi-annual event where student design teams from all over the world compete to show off innovative sustainable concepts. I have to say, instead of the usual clunky, mechanical attempts, this year there was a much stronger focus on aesthetics and spatial layout. I'm not saying there weren't any cheap tricks or gimmicks, but they seem to have taken on a much more subtle embodiment. Favorites were:

"Brett and Jermaine's Bach Pad"



"Sustainable Design: A new film by Ken Burns"



"Greening Up with the Joneses"



However, there were also some that I think got a little too wrapped up in concept:

"Don't you WANT to live in Ronchamp?"



The winner was the entry from the University of Maryland, which focused mainly on the ecological impacts of the wetlands and water resources in addition to the solar requirement of the competition. Is it beautiful? Sure. Is it well designed? Absolutely. But, I grew up in Maryland, and live here now, so you can't tell me you're putting your house in a wetland with grey water on site and then state that bugs won't be a god damn nightmare. If you have ever spent more than 3 minutes of Assateague Island, you know what I'm talking about. That and the fact that this house is almost entirely custom construction, bringing up the accuracy of calling it "modular". Modular design implies a certain level of production cost, which at the end of the day, is misleading to the viewer (and also probably to a buyer).

So in conclusion: U of M house- winner but not my favorite. Then again it's possible that I was more influenced by the order in which I saw the houses. Or I could just be a hater and haters gonna hate. Decide for yourself:

Love Letters to Dead Architects: Of Telephones and Tyrants

Abbot Suger,

Greetings from a far. I have heard of the great comissioning of a great cathedral. Do you worry, sir, that it will be percieved the wrong way? That this wonderful new "Gothic" style will be taken as a showboating attempt? France cannot afford to lose face in these uncertain times. What with sexy and violent English monarchs seducing the hell out of our dear French queens and then unfortunetly being very good at fighting, it is now more that ever we should forget our petty politics and focus on the greater goals. Then again, I may be wrong, your attempts may be, in earnest, for the glory of God and the saving of souls. Surely a Catherdral filled with the majesty of pure light would never be taken as a giant 'we're better than you' to England. What with their craggly, boorish and brutal castles. This catherdral is a step towards the future, a step out of chaos, a step for France.

With love,

Retly Corm




Daaaaaaaaymn Louise Blanchard Bethune, you fine.

yo. yo. yo. girl lemme get your number...come on gurl the telephone was only invented last year...so what's yo number..1?2?3?4? 5? oh...it's 5 isn't it. Well don't worry..I'll just keep trying numbers 'til I find you. So what you doin' here? Drafting? Damn girl..not a lot of ladies do that..in fact you are the first fine piece of lady meat I have ever seen professionally following an architectural career. I like it. Independant ladies. Making money..huh? 'Your compensation is unfairly poor'. You KNOW that ain't right. So you got a boyfriend? Is he big? Is he coming back soon? You married? you are. you work with him. Then you must need a break. Shiiiiii girl you gimme your number I promise I won't call it all the time, just when little mama needs a break you know. Oh you gotta go..well that's cool. I'll be here tomorrow to look at your lovely face..girl you filling out that hoop skirt.

- Retly Corm

Preview: You can't buy me love, but I will fight you for free

Hold on to your hats boys and girls: Love Letters to Dead Architects will be making a return sometime this month. I was recently given a marvelous gift which reminded me there are still some really important architects who I have completely glossed over.

http://www. neatoshop.com/product/Rulers-of-Architecture

Also: should you ever be in the charming city that reads, Baltimore, on a Monday morning stop by the Baltimore Basilica for an architecture tour from someone who is, quite possibly, the world's laziest Catholic. (yours truly, who is, truly yours)

I will tell you tales of nationwide excommunication, rigged lotteries, professional jealousy, political agendas, persecution, fire, war and ARCHITECTURE.

Emerging Professionals Companion

We had one of our quarterly Pennsylvania Associates Committee conference calls this afternoon.  A little-known website was on the agenda and was news to most of us.  I haven't delved into it too much just yet, but it appears to provide opportunities for accumulating IDP hours/credits in every category.  You just need to have your supervisor approve it through e-EVR.

The Emerging Professionals Companion

Check it out and if you have any success let me know!  I hope to look into some of my hard-to-reach categories tonight.

Joining the Mile High (city) Club with Johenwarter.

What draws us to the beauty and majesty of the American west: Is it the search for meaning outside of a tiresome eastern machine? Is it the desire for change in scene and situation? Or is it to escape massive, massive gambling debts from a guy named “Lips”, but enough about my troubles. Let’s talk travel.

Going over a few of the stops:

Byers-Evans House (1310 Bannock St)

Molly Brown House (1340 Pennsylvania Street)

Colorado State Capitol (136 State Capitol, Denver)

Denver Convention Center (700 14th Street)

Denver Public Library (10 West 14th Avenue Parkway)

Denver Art Museum (100 W. 14th Ave)

I think my favorite architectural spot was the Byers-Evans House, which was a frozen in time moment of the Victorian age. However the Art Museum had maybe one of the most fascinating collections I’ve ever seen. Charming, charismatic and deceptively intelligent – it was pretty wonderful. Best parts being (at least in my opinion):

http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/9bb/33a/denver-art-museum-n1-brighton.jpg

http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/a0a/a7a/13denver-art-museum-denver.jpg

http://www.denverartmuseum.org/collections/objectDetails/objectId--180641

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-hP0F05k3E

Now, the last time I had been to Colorado it was because I had an objective. but I think the best way to "see" Denver is to give up expectations and let it decide what it wants to be. With a landscape like Switzerland and flat grade level, this is the kind of city that can expand into the unexpected.

Part VI: Marseilles. “What are you looking at?”

Leaving Bordeaux was like a dream, one that came quickly crashing down to reality when a group of Rugby hooligans found their way onto our train.
I didn’t know human beings could be that loud, and I studied in Italy. Eventually I referred to the group as “The Noise”. The Noise then moved closer and unfortunately found out we were Americans. My sister got the brunt of their affection:

“YOU ARE NOW MY GIRLFRIEND!”

“NO!” she protested “I’M MARRIED – JE SUIS MARRE!”

“SO AM I! THIS IS FRANCE! I AM A FRENCH LOVER!”

Then he took off his shirt revealing chest hair that was the perfect combination of magnificent and grotesque. Like the movie Dune.

“SEE! FRENCH! I AM IRRESISTIBLE”

Then his face fell and he vomited into the cooler they had brought with them. Ahh…such old world charm.

Little did I know that this was a fitting introduction to Marseilles, a city that is gritty and charming. To paraphrase “It’s like Prague without the whimsy”.

Marseilles, like Bordeaux, can trace its history back thousands of years, and can boast a rich culture from the riches of the renaissance to the charm of the post-impressionist paintings. Don’t look for anything too close to Matisse though, the city now looks more like the cite radieuse than it does the provincial town.

Marseilles is a city that is in transition. One foot in the past, one in the future, nowhere is this more evident that in their architecture.

The future being the places like the following:

CMS CGM head office by Zaha Hadid

This seems to be out of a videogame. You are driving down the highway and don’t know if you should press A to jump to the next level. It’s nothing if not striking, and like most of Hadid’s work has an almost alien quality to it. As if from the not too distant future.

The same can be said for the Local Government Headquarters by Alsop & Störmer Architects. While significantly less dramatic, it no less holds the attention of the viewer with its plopped-down dynamism. The mother-ship ready to invade.

Of course these projects would ever have gotten off the ground if not for the precedent of the raven-like one’s famous work which is also in Marseilles.

Unité d'Habitation, Le Corbusier

To be honest, I was a little underwhelmed. I think it’s because I’m seeing it in 2011 and not in 1955. What Corbusier did at the time was revolutionary, but like motion pictures or movable type. We accept it as an obvious solution and discount the importance. If only I had a time-machine. Also an almanac showing all the winning football teams from 1955 to now (You know, like in Back to the Future Part II) then I could be appreciating it’s enormity AND be wealthy. Two things I definitely am not right now.

Finally, and because I feel it is necessary is the Chateau D’If , which is only significant because I loved the Count of Monte Cristo.

When you are looking at it, it really does seem like the kind of place you would be rotting for years, plotting your dark and bloody revenge for a dream denied.

So there you have it, Marseilles, dark, brooding, strange and somewhat affronting. This is in direct contrast to Aix en Provence, which is disgustingly charming.

Thus concludes our trip to Europe, aside from an uneventful 9 hour trek by train back to London and a 6 hour flight back. My sister and I survived and I could not be happier with the company I kept. So we fade into beautiful light.

Join us, won’t you, on our next adventure. It could be anywhere…China…Peru…Denver.

(Spoiler: It’s Denver and it was awesome)

Freelancing

Even before I got into architecture, I have always wanted to own my own company. When I was a wee lass I would refer to my bedroom as my office and have my sister "call" me with a phone-shaped walkie talkie. I would pretend to bill her for products or services and issue her an invoice, of sorts.

Now that I have passed through the bulk of the design education that prefaces earning the title "architect," I am finding that my old dream is slowly but surely resurfacing.

To temporarily satiate my returning entrepreneurial desire, I have decided to submerge myself in some freelancing and business-related reading. One book I highly recommend is:

Creative, Inc.

The Ultimate Guide to Running a Successful Freelance Business

by Meg Mateo Ilasco & Joy Deangdeelert Cho

It is a concise breakdown of the simple concepts involved in starting your own business. I will offer that much of the beginning of the book I feel I had already learned, either through my college education or just from being involved in the design industry. The later chapters, particularly when it gets into billing, invoicing, networking, hiring, etc. becomes quite informative.

It's a pretty quick read and offers some case studies to illustrate the important points. I'm keeping it on my shelf as a reference.

I have begun to dabble in some "freelancing," this year. I suppose technically it falls under the category "consulting." Either way, it's fun!

Part V: Bordeaux – Out Here in the Field, Down Here in the Ground.

Waking up somewhere and not knowing immediately where you are is quite possibly the most off-putting feeling one might ever have. The next thought will reflect your actions for the whole day. The past few (and, might I add, rare) times I have experienced this unsure, surreal moment I have had the following thoughts:

“Ughhh…. Great. This is where I get to die. Can someone please kill me and spare me from this insufferable headache? It would be such sweet release.”
- Storage Closet. Ocean City, Maryland. Beach Week, 2003

“What happened? Weren’t they on a Dock? Why is there a pile of Cocaine?”
- Boyfriend’s Couch. West Lafayette, Indiana. That time I fell asleep watching Scarface, 2006

“Oh. My. God. What happened? The last thing I remember him saying was ‘Don’t leave me, I don’t know where I am’.”
- Pinned on the floor by a nightstand, Hilton Hotel, Boston, Massachusetts Vodka Drinking Contest, 2009

While initially disturbing, eventually everything becomes clear and you are alive with a spirit of determination and redemption (when necessary). Whether your next step is to find Advil, Google the plot of a movie or just out and out panic, they are all done with true grit.

Fortunately in this case of temporary amnesia, my first thought was “Where am..? Oh Right. Bordeaux.”

Bordeaux is a charming city as well as listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site for "an outstanding urban and architectural ensemble" The area has been inhabited since the times of the Neanderthal and has archeological evidence from before the Roman conquest, it also lies in the rich and fertile ground of the Aquitaine, which was always of strategic importance for Europe (especially for the House of Plantagenet).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine

Great Architectural sites in Bordeaux include.

Place de la Bourse, designed by Ange-Jacques Gabriel built in 1755 as La Place Royal for Louis XV

Court of the First Instance, designed by Richard Rodgers, built in 1998

Eglise Sainte-Croix, designed by any number of people, as it is was built in the 7th century and has a long history

Le Grande Theatre, designed by Victor Louis, built in 1780

It is also a great example of Urban renewal reinvigorating the downtrodden. Most of the buildings in the city are coated with a limestone that while reacting very well to the sea-air, does not fair so well against the pollution. In the past 20 years they have been slowly cleaning the city to the point where the dirtier buildings look like the evil twins of the clean ones.

We learned all this from a guide named Guierrme and this was his story:

“Well I am studying to be a Sommelier. Then when I finish I will join my girlfriend in Brazil. I met her last year in Australia, we talk every night.”

My sister and I looked at each other and silently confirmed what we both knew. This unfortunate young man was going to have his heart ripped out and it was only a matter of time. We were all him (or some version of him) when we were young, for me it was young Blue-eyed blonde who I absolutely adored. He left for the wide west and I convinced myself with the stubborn determination of a last stand that it was going to work. It didn’t. It wasn’t supposed to.

However in Guierrme’s unassuming smile we could see the kind of love that is too powerful and too ignorant to be reasoned with. Like a hungry bear, like a shark with a toothache. There is no easy way for him to learn this lesson. We could tell him, but we would never be believed. What they have is special, unique, and timeless. Just like everyone else’s relationship. Then again, I could be wrong. That’s the best part of young love.

The rest of the day we toured around the Bordeaux region and I learned a very important lesson: I know NOTHING about wine. Example: “Yes, there is fruitiness, lightness and do I detect a hint of…grape?” Go ahead. Tell me I’m wrong.

After much aimless wandering we happened upon another UNESCO world heritage site, which are apparently as pervasive in this area of France as hobos are in my Baltimore neighborhood, you can literally trip over them. However, unlike the hobos around my house they don’t call you fat while simultaneously asking you for a dollar. At least none have yet.

We had arrived in St. Emilion, home to a large number of Grand Cru vines as well as the Monastery of St. Emilion. St Emilion was renown not only for his sin-absolving abilities but also for his libations. According to legend, St. Emilion carved this church from the living limestone face of the cliff under which the town now resides. There is something inherently religious about being underground. Maybe it’s because it is reminiscent of one’s own mortality and subsequently (if you believe in that sort of thing) immortality. Being under cover of darkness deep within the sturdy walls of someone’s true devotion can make you feel that your soul is an immortal and intangible being while the shell you inhabit perpetually dies all around it. It seems tragically unfair that we spend our whole lives collecting memories, wisdom, insight, intellect, being hoarders of our own experiences only to lose everything in death. In light of that, touching something that has been around for hundreds of years makes you feel as if maybe, your precious little moments stand a chance. That or maybe I had drunk too much wine.

With Bordeaux behind us, the final stop was underway.

On the Final Episode: Part VI Marseilles: “What are you looking at?”

Paris Part IV: Getting Trapped In Cramped Loud Spaces and How to Escape from Them While Still Enjoying Modern Art.

Finally the day had come: We were going to see La Centre Georges Pompidou. For years I had attempted to make it there, but something had always gotten in the way. Whether it was food poisoning, or Lance Armstrong winning the Tour, or the most convincing of all: “Baby, that sounds super boring, why don’t we just get drunk here instead?”. There was always a reason why it got passed over. Not today.

The Pompidou Centre is considered to be one of the great masterpieces in high-tech architecture, a joint effort by the Italian architect, Renzo Piano and British architect, Richard Rodgers. Though theirs is an equal partnership, Piano’s influence comes shining through. What one must always admire about Piano is his adaptability, especially in large-scale public forums. Unlike many of the other starchitects, Piano does not necessarily have a “trademark” image. For Zaha Hadid, it’s the harsh, unforgiving sharpness of her reds, for Frank Ghery, it’s the tinfoil flexibility and sheen of a metallic curve and anything by Rem Koolhaas looks like it can double as Darth Vadar’s summer home. Piano, on the other hand is completely adaptable and while he makes the architecture, he is not above being influenced. This allows his structures to seem less alien, especially in the urban fabric. For other examples, I would look at The New York Times building in New York City or Parco Della Musica in Rome (which is one of my favorite buildings of all time).

The Pompidou revolutionized the museum as much as, if not more than, The Guggenheim by Frank Lloyd Wright. By placing all of the infrastructural needs: HVAC, Plumbing, Electrical and vertical transport on the exterior of the building, the interior is entirely open and free. In this situation, the artist determines how their work is to be viewed, making the architecture a humble and willing participant but not the star. This attitude can be contrasted with Ghery’s Guggenheim museum in Bilbao, which aggressively challenges the art to fight it. (This is similar to Wright’s Guggenheim, which forces the art to conform to his vision of circulation and pageantry)

Long story short: Le Centre Pompidou, works well with others.

While the collection was charismatic, sophisticated, social, and at times poetic and political there was one work which I could not get behind. As the escalator moved its way up, there was the undeniable and inescapable noise of tantric chanting. I get it, I do. It’s supposed to make me confront my preconceived notions, but dammit if it’s not obnoxious. I looked at my sister and mouthed “I’m sorry.” It was a movement of kindness on her part that she had let me live. We could not get out of the area due to a massive school group and if not for deft side-stepping we would have gotten stuck there all day.

After the Pomp and circumstance, we spent the afternoon walking around where the Bastille once stood, saw a market and musicians but could find no sign of a giant paper-mache mountain, tragic really:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cult_of_the_Supreme_Being

The evening ended when we had to switch our hotel to one in the business district of La Defense in the shadow of La Grande Arche.

Arche de la Défense or La Grande Arche was designed by a Danish architect and an engineer: Johann Otto von Sprecklesen and Erik Reitzel. While a clear reference to the Arc De Triomphe, La Grande Arche is meant not as a monument to the horrors of war but as a reminder of modern societies’ humanitarian responsibilities. It was inaugurated in 1989 as a bicentennial celebration of the French revolution. It’s big, bold and maybe just a little bit boring. Never the less there is no denying its epic domination over the business district.

Our last stop was the countryside of Champagne. What can be said about Champagne? It’s a charming landscape and a beverage that is really, really hard (and pretty dangerous) to make.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu6Nmq3hbFc

As far as architecture goes, there is one site in Champagne that cannot be missed. That is the Cathedral in Reims.
Reims is famous for being the structure most affiliated with the French monarchy in all of France. Some will argue “What about Versailles?” That is the structure most affiliated with the end of the monarchy not necessarily its reign. There is a tendency to forget that French monarchy did go on for over 1300 years before the dopey locksmith and his spend-thrift ditzy bride became the symbols of decadence and corruption. The story started with Clovis I, whose reign began in approximately 481 AD, just as the Roman Empire was on its last legs. Eventually Clovis unified all of what was to be known as “France” (which included the conquest of Gaul) and made Christianity the national religion. This means you need a cathedral. BAM! Notre Dame de Reims.

Since Clovis I, every French monarch (with the exception of one) has been crowned at the Cathedral in Reims upon their assumption to the throne. The exception to the rule is Charles VII, who could not be crowned there initially, as it was under the possession of the English. Then a feisty, illiterate teenager comes out of nowhere and demands he get his skinny ass on that throne. She leads an army to take back the land, gets the Dauphin the Reims, he is crowned King and she is not allowed inside because she is, after all, a peasant. I would have hated to be the usher who tells Joan of Arc that she is not on the list. Not even as a plus one. Awwwwkward.
Reims as a building is a lot like other European cathedrals. The site was evolved over a long period of time, starting as a Roman Bath becoming a place of worship under St. Nicasius and continued as such under St. Remi. It has a labyrinth, similar to Chartes and a rare, beautiful Rose window. Like Westminser Abbey in London, the architecture becomes eclipsed by the history.
After returning from Reims, we ended our time in Paris by having Chinese food and preparing for the southern sun.

Next Time : Part 5 Bordeaux – Out Here in the Field, Down Here in the Ground.

Part III: Paris or “How to say ‘Bonjour’ and other helpful French Phrases

So there we were, in the elevator of the L’Hotel Arch di Triomphe, a giant man who was playing in the French Open in a few days and me. At least I assume he was playing, as he looked like someone who would be a professional athlete and was also carrying a tennis racket. Only a few weeks prior I had to explain to someone that the French Open was not, in fact, a golf tournament. However, I must confess that is the extend of my knowledge of Tennis.

I should have remembered that before I made a clumsy attempt at, I won’t say seduction, but flattery.

“So…. Are you going to be swearing any oaths on the Tennis Court? Because I read a book about those once, they don’t end well. Pretty Bloody.”
“What?”
“Good Luck!” Then I got off and waited 4 minutes for another elevator.

Sometimes I forget I am a 13 year old girl trapped in a grown woman’s body. Also no one thinks jokes about the French Revolution are funny. Too soon.

We have arrived in Paris. This morning we had left London via the Chunnel.

The Chunnel is an engineering marvel, and not just because of what it does (connecting France and England by a virtually highwayman-free thoroughfare) but also by how it was made. It took the better part of a decade but a total of eleven boring machines starting on either end worked to cut through the chalk and marl bed of the English Channel. Shockingly, the project was completed on time (take THAT Big Dig).

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/59/Channel_Tunnel_geological_profile_1.svg/1000px-Channel_Tunnel_geological_profile_1.svg.png

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eurotunnel_schema_(empty_service).svg

A modern marvel that was (and still is) revolutionary, the only room for improvement is if the sandwiches on board didn’t cost six pounds.

Once we arrived in Paris, deposited our things and I committed at least one act of social suicide, we were ready to hit the town. As an American, it’s easy to fall into the pit of the stereotypical tourist who wonders Paris dazed, smitten, romanced. This being the fourth time being in the eternal city of light, I assumed that, in part due to my experiences the last time, the affect had finally worn of. In 2007, I had almost gotten my bag stolen by a vagrant and had gotten into a shouting tussle about why I was not going to pay him for the effort. Eventually we were broken up by the transit police of Montmatre. A group of gypsies started following me down the street and I was only able to lose them in the hostel lobby. On top of that it was a rainy week in April and to paraphrase T.S. Eliot, “April blows.”

I’m not going to say I didn’t love every minute of the trip in 2007, but looking back then, Paris seemed like a beautiful and cruel partner in a dysfunctional relationship. Paris was bullying and indifferent, but as they say “you got to be big if you treat pretty girls bad.”

This time around, the weather seemed to be doing its best to apologize for past mistakes by shining in the most magical way. As Hepburn once quipped “the light is almost pink”.

Walking down the street gave off a feeling of such intoxication that it was probably illegal. Everything seemed weightless, delicate, charming. Being in a place like that, one can also feel weightless, delicate and charming which must be why French women are the way they are.

From an architectural perspective, Paris is either a city that serves as enduring inspiration to be put on a pedestal (as the lost generation writers and the etudents de la Acadamie de Beaux Arts did) or an archaic and backwards relic, worthy of destruction, (as Le Corbusier did). However, one aspect cannot be ignored, the city for better or worse, feels like something. When you see a picture of Paris, it looks like Paris. It sounds obvious, but in much of contemporary architecture it could be anywhere. Milwalkee could just as easily be Miami. Paris sometimes cartoonishly, looks like itself and always finds a way to enchant, young or old, naïve or cynical.

(For more information on the phenomenon of Architectural Personalities and the populations that reflect it (In an American and Canadian perspective) I recommend Richard Florida’s “Who’s Your City? http://www.creativeclass.com/whos_your_city/ )

But back to the show.

As we were traveling in a group of three (a walking joke of a blonde, a brunette and a red-head) and one of the trio had never been to Paris before we decided to hit the well trekked landmarks.

The Arch de Triomphe – constructed by Napoleon to commemorate a battle to win a land that he had no rightful claim to. The roman spirit was alive and well in Imperial France. If you get a chance, you really should look up the Battle of Austerlitz, it was actually, kind of amazing.

The Louvre – There things you do while traveling that are “Cliché” For example, seeing the Mona Lisa. The Mona Lisa is an extraordinary painting, but it is not the ONLY extraordinary painting. Say what you want, but when you walk into a room with a 15’ X 20’ DelaCroix painting. The only thing you can say is “wow.” On a previous trip I had spent the entire day in the Louvre. From open to close, I packed a lunch and was just enveloped in it all day. Too much is never enough, the first sign of addiction. It also makes you think “Damn. Europe stole a lot of stuff from people”

La Notre Dame – There aren’t really words. You just kind of have to go. However! I can tell you an interesting fact:

This famous painting by David is actually set in La Notre Dame

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/08/Jacques-Louis_David%2C_The_Coronation_of_Napoleon_edit.jpg

After the Revolution, the church was turned into a “Temple of Reason”, however much like the calendar that was invented to eliminate all traces of the past (it’s a real thing) –http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Republican_Calendar - The French people eventually came to their senses and put it back the way it was supposed to be.

You know, my favorite part of the time we spent in Paris was on the Champs-Élysées. It was the first time I got to actually “stroll”. Most of the times I have traveled, it’s similar to being carted from stop to stop never really getting a feel for a place. The Champs-Élyséesis a glamorous place and a place that makes you feel glamorous.

Next Time on European adventures:

Part 4: Getting Trapped In Cramped Loud Spaces and How to Escape from Them While Still Enjoying Modern Art.

EUROPE TRIP BONUS

I feel compelled to describe Buckingham Palace, but before I do so, let’s be honest: There are more awe-inspiring Palaces. Not to jump ahead, but when you look at the Grandeur of the Louvre or the ruins of the Villa Adriana, you can’t help but look at Buckingham Palace and think “This is it?”

Granted Americans have no room to talk.

The White House: tiny, cramped, and expensive.

It leads one to think: What is the measure of a Ruler’s residence?

This may be bad paraphrasing but I recall that Frederick Jackson Turner once hypothesized that the Untied States would never truly have great Federal Buildings because the legacy of free people cannot be found in the impressiveness of their architecture, but rather in the way that everyday people have been treated and valued. This means basically: “Sorry Guys. No forced-labor Pyramids for you. You just get a fair wage and natural beauty.” To which all tyrants say “lame.”

So no, Buckingham Palace is not that impressive. But the Palace of Versailles is and we all know how that turned out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6HiYVkt0M&feature=related

London Part II. Birds and Serpents

Waking up the first time in a new city is almost as disorienting as walking around in one. I find frequently that dreams are stronger and more vivid. Maybe it’s because traveling long distances forces you to confront the distance of your origin. Maybe it’s because I eat a lot of Indian food late at night. Who knows.

The night before we had drinks with an old roommate from college who also happened to be in London. Just like in college, liquor somehow found a way for me to miss deadlines. So, a little later than expected, we started the walk to the two big churches in London: Westminster Abbey and St. Paul’s Cathedral.

Westminster Abbey

Having arrived in England about a month after the wedding ceremony between Kate Middleton and Prince William and am happy to report there were no shortages of nuptial memorabilia around the historic structure. Now, I love love, but truly, madly, deeply love spectacle. And am therefore not at all disgusted that the faces of the newlyweds have been plastered on everything from T-shirts to Tea Towels. Even though, I remember being in Baltimore the day of the actual ceremony and thinking “Didn’t we have a Revolution for the specific purpose of not having to hear about Royal Weddings?” While not a historian, I’m about 99% sure the Boston Tea Party was a reaction to rumors of the Prince Regent popping the question.

Onto for the building itself

To be honest, a lot of the hub-bub that surrounds Westminster Abbey has to do more with who is buried there (Oscar Wilde, Geoffrey Chaucer, Anne of Cleaves, etc.) than the architecture. It is marvelous, that’s not a question: the scale is epic, the detailing refined and the emotive response awe-inspiring but as far as a remarkable bit of architecture, it gets out shined easily by its own celebrity: A victim of spin.

The most interesting part of the building is a rock that is passed unceremoniously thousands of times a day. The rock is a mile-marker for a Roman road, tracing the lineage of the site almost 2000 years. Yet, there it is, sitting in the open air, a testament to humility. This rock allows the Abbey to be seen in another light, not just a place where weird hats get worn.

When you think about Westminster not as a building but as a physical record of the history of England , the importance of the material seems almost trivial. This building has seen it all, from Londinium roots, through the middle ages, onto the break from the Catholic Church and further still to the funeral of Diana Spencer. This structure has been created to house the events of a unified people, a backdrop to what has happened and what may happen next. Westminster Abbey is not the star of the show, it’s only a set.

Also, it costs 16 Pounds to get in. Seriously Guys, that’s like 30 bucks. Come on!

We can’t speak about Westminster Abbey without also mentioning its noisy neighbors....

The Palace at Westminster and Big Ben

Big Ben, as it turns out, is not a Paul Bunyon-esque Giant. (So bringing my giant griddle-cake butter skates was for nothing).

Though Big Ben is the most dominant feature in the Palace Parti, it was not added until long after the Palace at Westminster had been established. The site can date back to c. 1016-1035 when it was used by Cnut the Great. (And NO it’s not an anagram for anything, you horrible people). The site, like many others in Europe was burned, beaten and built-up until it became what we see today, which is actually considered “Neo-Gothic” which is ironic as the basis of much of the building is “Actual, Like, For Real Gothic”.

The Clock was added in the reign of Victoria and it serves as a testament not only to the goals of her reign, (expansion, commerce and propriety) but also as a memoriam to the Victorian revisionist treatment of history and English culture. Big Ben seems to yell: “We were Glorious. And still are...also nobody in the past ever did anything wrong… ever…also, no one has ever been, or will ever be gay…EVER. Love, VR”

Moving all the way across town we make our way towards St. Paul’s.

St. Paul’s Cathedral

You might remember St. Paul’s as the setting for a creepy-ass song about birds from a well known and delightful children’s movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHrRxQVUFN4

People love this song. Whatever. Guess what’s better? Dancing Penguins and Horse Racing, this was also in the movie. (I’m indifferent towards tea parties on ceilings)

Like Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral has a long and sordid history, along with more than its share of fire. Tracing its lineage back to pre-Norman roots, this was a standard story of Built, Beloved, Burned, Rebuilt, Revered, Razed, and so on (oh but let’s not forget the dissolution of the Church under Henry VIII, because this is, after all a Cathedral). All this architectural uncertainty ended in 1667 when it fell upon Christopher Wren to come up with its next incarnation. The previous embodiment had been influenced about 40 years earlier by Inigo Jones, who is generally thought to be England’s first “classical” architect.

In 1666 the entirety of London Burned to the ground and a huge upcrop of building took place. Wren actually had the foresight to come up with schemes to completely redesign the urban landscape of London. Why not? Rome had done the exact same thing a few decades earlier to make Churches easier to access for Pilgrims entering the city. It had done wonders for their economy (Those crafty Popes).

Unfortunately his design was dismissed in favor of replacing what already existed, the Cathedral was still workable, so suspicion remains that the powers that be decided to throw it in as a consolation prize.

Wren decided to pull a DJ mash-up and combined Greco-Roman, Gothic and Renaissance into one enormous structure. With all of these factors at play it’s to be believed that Wren was much more concerned about it as a famous poem implies:

Sir Christopher Wren
Went to dine with some men
He said, "If anyone calls,
Say I'm designing Saint Paul's."
-Edmund Clerihew Bently

Whether you love it or hate it (and there are people who do both) one thing that cannot be avoided is the sheer scale of the structure. It stands on the hill top near the Tate Modern: all-consuming, tall, romantic and slightly overbearing, like a Bronte figure. There is a poetic kind of closure that St. Paul’s has, a silver kind of sadness that hums seamlessly with the constant drone of the city. It’s also pretty hard not to like it when you know it survived the Blitz.

Plus the views from the top are phenomenal.

http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/3637082.jpg

Speaking of views, let’s not forget our last stop in London, The Serpentine Gallery, located in Kensington Gardens.

The Serpentine Gallery

The actual gallery is nothing really to write home about. However, like many small packages it’s what inside that counts. Or at least that’s the case usually.

When I got there, the exhibit was one called “See, We Assemble” which I am sorry to say was just awful. According to the artist’s statement, his intent was to “explore the potential of the human imagination to appropriate and to animate a concept, an object or an environment. Drawing on his personal experiences, [Mark] Leckey returns frequently to the themes of desire and transformation.”

Wait a second.

You mean I have to go into a green screen room with a fridge in it, and the instruction video for said fridge playing stupidly loud on super slow and tell YOU what it means. Call it what you want, but I call it lazy.

Fortunately The Serpentine can back up its street cred in the world of Architecture without question. Since 2000, The Serpentine has had a world-class architect design a pavilion every year. The cast is as follows:

2000: Zaha Hadid
2001: Daniel Libeskind
2002: Toyo Ito
2003: Oscar Niemeyer
2005: Álvaro Siza and Eduardo Souto de Moura
2006: Rem Koolhaas with Cecil Balmond and Arup
2007 pre-pavilion 'Lilias': Zaha Hadid and Patrik Schumacher
2007: Olafur Eliasson, Cecil Balmond, and Kjetil Thorsen
2008: Frank Gehry
2009: SANAA
2010: Jean Nouvel
2011: Peter Zumthor

The Serpentine Pavilion Challenge is a chance for these architects to make the impossible possible for 4 months out of the year. With such a small scale, structure is only a minor concern and the scheme is everything. There are too many to go through each individually, but I highly recommend checking out the website:

http://www.serpentinegallery.org/architecture/

The aesthetics range from something vaguely reminiscent of a stewardess (Lilias) to the firm and patriotic countenance of a Royal Marine (Nouvel).

On the way back a Swan in Hyde Park and I had some words over a sandwich (THAT HE DID’NT EVEN PAY FOR). My sister and I had a drink and we plotted our Southern Escape.

Next Episode: How to Say “Bonjour” and other helpful French Phases.

Art, Architecture, Beer, Wine, Cheese then more Wine: Retly Corm Hits Europe

Recently I discovered that I don’t necessarily have to be successful to travel well, I just need to be friends with people who are successful. This was the case last month, when my older sister (a junior CEO for a major multinational corporation) invited me on her business trip. To give our discoveries context, I feel it is necessary to give a little bit of background: it will surprise no one that I have always been a little jealous of my traveling companion.

Growing up, I was always pale, filled with angst, odd and desperate for approval. While she, at least to me, was tan, blonde, popular and envied no one.

This is the woman whom I one time asked the rhetorical question of :

“Man, I looked so good this morning and now I look crazy frumpy, does that ever happen to you?”

“No.”

Then a long pause

“I’m really pretty; those kinds of things just don’t happen to me”

Because of our clear differences we were often put into categories; Artistic and Misunderstood vs. Bubbly and Manipulative. Basically Jane Eyre vs. Emma Woodhouse.

I know I deserved no such credit, nor she such censure. Between the two, she has always been the smarter one and though we continually butted heads in our adolescence, we actually became good friends as we grew older. I became more confident and less dependant on others, while she became more sympathetic and understanding of faults. Eventually we decided not to force each other to be what the other one wanted. I was never going to be accepted by the Field Hockey Team and she was never going to care about the Battle of Thermopolis.

Keep that in mind when I force her to join me, on not one, but TWO modern art museums even though she hates them. She didn't even complain once. Long story short: she's pretty cool.

So let’s get down to it, shall we?

London: Part I Lone Ranger in a Strange Land.

Arriving at 7:00 am on Thursday after the world’s longest flight, I made the decision that should I ever have enough power to institute it, I am banning babies from international red-eye flights. I’m not sure what tragedy that baby had seen in its short life, but it was making it well known. Verbally. For 5 hours.

Perhaps it was the symptoms of exhaustion and disorientation that made the city of London seem so much more magical that morning. The sun was shining with a kind of pleasant indifference, the kind that beautiful people have, and I headed from our hotel along Hyde Park straight to the National Galleries.

Visiting an art museum is something that is usually best done after going Rogue. An art museum is a kind of secular cathedral; you need to be one with the greater forces at work. Such was the case here. Some of the highlights include:

Hogarths’ “Marriage A La Mode” which depicts the unfortunate and arranged marriage and acts as biting social commentary. I’ve mentioned Hogarth before on the Blog (While I was in Scotland) but just in case you’re not familiar with Hogarth, here’s his formula:

Plate 1- This is John. John works hard at a printer’s shop. This is John’s friend Steve. Steve is lazy and kicks dogs.

Plate 2- John is rewarded for his hard work and marries a respectable young lady. Steve says “Eff this” and goes off to the East Indies.

Plate 3- John becomes a Law Clerk. Steve dicks around with Hookers.

Plate 4- John buys an estate in the country. Steve contracts syphilis and his ugly girlfriend steals from the blind orphans.

Plate 5 – John becomes Mayor and is now the richest man in London.

Plate 6 -Steve gets beat up by his ex girlfriend’s new boyfriend and is burned in a fire only to be hung later that day.

The good are rewarded, the evil are punished. No redemption available. Maybe it’s because I’m too brassy for my own good, but the heroes of Hogarth Paintings always seem like such tools. I feel like the Villains are at least interesting, they don’t live their lives by the book (God forbid).

However, unlike the Rake’s or Harlot’s Progress paintings, Marriage A La Mode reads less like a Bad Gofus and Gallant sketch from Hilights for Kids.

It is more a tale of love of money over respect for others than a how-to guide. The young couple is really only a set of cogs in a system that is fundamentally broken. This is what Hogarth is really all about, meritocracy not mediocrity. Eventually they become the monsters society has made them, nothing more, nothing less.

There are countless other great paintings:

Velazquez- Venus at the Mirror
(Damn Girl you so fine you making me sexist, so fine crazy women want to stab you)

Van Dyck – Portrait of Charles I
(So I’m short, big friggin deal. I’m still going to rule your asses until...oh wait…dang)

Van Eyck – The Arnolfini Portrait
(maybe after you’re finished pretending to be pregnant you can get some housework done)

Titian – Bacchus and Ariadne
(Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role and tell you that the butt ain't gold, So they toss it and leave it, and I pull up quick to retrieve it)

Rubens- The Judgement of Paris
(Girls. Girls. You’re all pretty. Yeah, pretty heavy. Oh damn)

Wright – An Experiment on a Bird in an Air Pump
(Don’t worry girls, that bird stole a T.V. he deserves it)

Carravaggio – Boy Bitten by a Lizard
(Am I a metaphor for dude sex? A technical exercise on exploring the senses? Social commentary? Who knows.)

Holbien – The Ambassadors
(It’s like a magic eye, but literally a million times better)

Gainsborough – Mr. and Mrs. Andrews
(Look at all our stuff. Seriously, there’s a lot of it)

Suerat – The Bathers at Asnieres.
(In all seriousness this painting almost made me cry…It was at that point I realized I needed to eat and pee, not necessarily in that order, to become sane again)

Finally there’s Turner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zc_zrz6j9Hw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhICGT1gnCA

No one ever breaks your heart quite like J.M.W.Turner. There is dignity and loneliness, disrepair and nostalgia all in that kind of sad golden light. The self acknowledged end of an age. This is the most poignant in The Fighting Temmiers. Turner knows it’s only a matter of time until he and his ilk are shooed away by the hard, sharp and loud future. (I’m looking at YOU Isambard Kingdom Brunnel) But there’s no point in being mad about it. Just try and go off with a little bit of dignity. That is until John Ruskin finds stacks and stacks of porn in your house after you die. Gross.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2004/dec/29/artsandhumanities.arts

The Gallery building itself is quite imposing

Originally put up by John Nash as a (can you believe it) Parthenon of virtue through art. Eventually John Nash had his ideas stolen and built by another. As the collection expanded so did the building. Each addition feels like a complex layer added onto a strong backbone. As if to say “Me too! I’m in! Don’t Forget me.” All except one. This is of course, the addition by Venturi Scott Brown and Associates. The Sainsbury Wing, is unlike the others for obvious reasons. Firstly, it’s post-modern. And very much so.

There pulling back of the stone and making it into a curtain holding back the show is that rare combination of wit, drama and sexiness that made Venturi into a legend and is so missing from his later work. The original scheme for the addition by Ahrends, Burton and Koralek was called a "monstrous carbuncle" by the Prince of Wales. A term which is now common (apparently) for a modern building that clashes with its surroundings.

http://www.ribapix.com/image.php?i=17036&r=2&t=4&x=1

The galleries of VSBA are stark yet cozy, humble yet wry. Out of context and yet completely at home, almost like an Italian painting in a British Museum…

The next stop was the National Portrait Gallery in London. A whole 30 feet away.

Beautiful, inspiring and expected. Like a Facebook gallery of you and all your supercool friends. I feel a little bit like a stalker. Additionally there is nothing I can say about this gallery which has not been said more eloquently than Kate Beaton:

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=167
http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=168
http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=169
http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=170

Stay tuned for the next episode:

London Part II. Birds and Serpents.

Bazinga.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703789104576272982600173192.html?mod=rss_Lifestyle#articleTabs%3Darticle

Joe Queenan is out to kill. Little does Frank Gehry know if he strikes him down, Joe will become more powerful than he could possibly imagine.

Love Letters to Dead Architects: Sinners, Saints, Slobs, Salesmen

Well, well, well, if it isn’t Asher Benjamin,

So how does it feel to be the Betty Crocker of the Architectural World? Now. Don’t look at me like that (I know you are), I don’t mean to be condescending. Think about it, your books have made it possible for those who don’t have access to any academies or ecoles to aspire to architecture greater than that of necessity.

Additionally, about these detail drawings you’ve included - understandable, well drafted, and beautiful - which is all I will say about the matter.

In many ways, you’re not to far from Andrea Palladio (Don’t gasp at my blasphemy, it does’nt suit you.) I knew him, a long, long time ago. You would have liked him and I imagine he would have felt the same way about you.

While I wish you had truly spread your horizions beyond the idyllic and the rural when it came to your “architectural how-to” book. I can do nothing but congratulate you.

Therefore I must leave now, unless I appear to be gushing with praise.

Yours ever,

Retly Corm



Erich Mendelsohn,

I can’t get you off my mind. All those curves in the Einstein Tower? All those Triangles in the Luckenwalde Hat Factory? The perfect composition that is the Red Flag Textile factory. It’s enough to make a person blush. It’s like the material has melted, a northern and modern evolution of Gaudi. But still, you’re so much more than that…

Question: Do you know how hard it is to find someone who is both smart and fun to be around?

Answer: It’s really hard.

You must know this. You’re surrounded by scientists…scientists who play the cello, I’m sure they’re nice, I’m just saying. I’ve also know scientists who play instruments and most of them were insufferable.

With Love,

Retly Corm

Dear Pierre Cuypers,

I can tell you are the kind of man who you don’t mess around with. So let me just go ahead and confess what we both know: I’m nothing but a sinner.

I was raised with good principles, but traveling the world and wanting the presence and presents of all manner of rakes and rascals, well one cannot stay immune forever. I’m not sure I want to be saved, but when I look at your Gothic Rijksmuseum Amsterdam, I get a feeling I’ve not had in years. Maybe the apotheosis your architecture gives to all the Rembrandts and Vermeers, maybe it’s because it reminds me of a strict religion that I have rebelled against for a long time. Whatever it is, it’s tangible.

Guardedly yours,

Retly Corm



Dear Konstantin Andreyevich Thon,

Don’t give me those romantic-poet-puppy eyes. You know what you did. You can’t just throw me to the dogs to save your skin at dinner parties. Listen, I know you’re scared. I would be too. You’re a Russian artist who supports the Tzar.

To be perfectly honest Konstantin, I’m not sure how well it’s going to work out for you – People in your position traditionally have a tendency to have their careers end tragically. You may get lucky though; you may be respected, loved even, after you are gone. My advice? Throw yourself into the future, get behind the latest construction techniques, design a train station, get involved in a big way. At least then, when the revolutionaries take over, you may be seen as an innovator, rather than a relic icon. Then again, Russians like those too.

With Love,

Retly Corm


Dear Frederick Law Olmsted

Remember when we were talking a while back, you said you wanted to start some trouble? I do.

Well, on that point, Andrew Jackson Downing was crazy talking about some huge park in the middle of the city. I know the partying has worn off by now, but I think he may actually have something there.

We can stick it to those New York money based pragmatists once and for all. Now’s the time, let’s go ahead and take over 800 acres on the island, make a park so beautiful they can’t tear it down. No matter how much they whine, people will love it and they’ll be stuck. I already called Calvert Vaux, he’ll be over about noon.

You start drafting; I’m going to pull together some hush money.
Chop Chop!

Best,

Retly Corm.


Hey there Ed Bacon,

So…I can’t help but notice that you haven’t called.

I would be mad, but I know that you’re busy. You’ve got a lot on your plate, so I’ll be empathetic. I mean here you are, doing your damndest to take a cluttered, claustrophobic city and really do something worth while.

Instead of just looking at a grid and saying “Yup. There you go.” You look beyond that, into the special and spatial needs of a place. Indeed, I can’t help but get a little sentimental about your commitment to human interaction on an urban scale. Color and perception, the man made and the natural, it all weaves together to form a whole. Yet, as architects and planners we can still control it, still shape our world for the better.

While your ideas are clear and simple they’re getting muddled up by poets and politicians who can’t see past their own egos. You care about more than yourself. It’s why I think I may love you.
Stay bad-ass Ed.

With Love,

Retly Corm


Dear Andrew Jackson Downing,

When I first heard you speak on the subject of personal gardens, I thought

“Ok. So I’m supposed to take care of my property not because it benefits me financially but because it makes me a better person? That’s cute.”

Maybe I’ve been too cynical, I’ve seen a lot hopeful people and brilliant ideas get crushed by indifference and sloth. But you’re different, you’re not advocating gardens just for the rich. I’m hearing that you want every person to have a chance to have a little piece of paradise of your own? How novel. How republican. How…noble.

This plan of “landscape architecture” might actually be crazy enough to work.

Yours (turns out) truly,

Retly Corm

Dear William Van Alen,

Ok. So they say the Chrysler Building lacks depth of meaning in its design. Well guess what nerds, it’s awesome. All the details reference it’s inspiration, if that’s not depth, I don’t want to know what is.

You know what lacks depth? All this neo-this, revival-that nonsense, just because it’s inspired by something ancient, doesn’t mean it’s good.

You know what else was a bunch of flash and pop and dazzle? Anything Baroque. Ever.

Listen, they’re all ready to cry themselves to sleep over Bernini but they can’t recognize a similar kind of genius in their own age. Don’t worry Bill, you know and I know one of these days they’ll be kicking themselves.

Plus, who needs them? People love the hell out of your building.

I do too.

Love,

Retly Corm


Ralph Knott,

Remember, my dearest boy, where you came from. You may be living a beautiful life, falling in love, charming the people, inventing the “Edwardian Baroque”. I know there’s nothing you’re trying to be besides a great architect. But I want to warn you, some people will only ever see you as a prentender. Before you start, I know, the County Hall building for London County Council broke barriers, structurally, aesthetically, I know. I’m just saying.

The fact is you’re the son of a tailor from Dorset. That is’nt a bad thing, it’s just the truth. Hey, Turner’s father was a wig-maker. Own it. Make it the reason why you are as great as you are.

Affectionately yours,
Retly Corm

Dear Jay Sarno,

Really? REALLY? Ceasar’s Palace? That’s what you decided to call it? I think maybe Caligula would have made more sense. No. That would have been seedy.

Ok. Now that’s out of my system.

I’d be mad at you, but damnit if it doesn’t work.
Maybe that’s why you’re in the casino business and I’m in…whatever it is that I do.
You know, when you think about it, the architecture may not be “sophisticated” or “intellectual” you were able to do what thousands, maybe tens of thousands of architects wish they could – create an entire world in your own vision.

Say what you will about design intent, you have to respect that kind of gumption.
Best Regards,

Retly Corm


Edith Wharton,

Kudos on setting some standards in this town, there is this common and popular idea currently that the more objects you have, the better off you are. We both know this is simply untrue. The more junk in the window, the less likely you are to appreciate the flowers and the trees. This whole movement is aestheticism run amok (I’m looking at YOU James Whistler, you started all this nonsense).

I just hope that the intent of the work is made clear in its reading. I know you do not mean to be condescending or snobbish regarding the correct and incorrect way. But someone has to tell them, and if not us then whom?

Best,

Retly Corm


Elise De Wolfe.

Enough of this cat-and-mouse-game. I cannot stand to be away from you any longer. Not only does your beauty shine like the sun, but you bring light into the gloomiest and darkest corner of my mind and glum Victorian houses.

You truly are “a rebel in an ugly world.”

Everyone will say of Lady Mendl, long after we both are gon that she wanted to world to be honest especially to itself. Not everyone is as brave. Please come away with me. We can be honest, simple and sophisticated. We can do cartwheels all day in fine evening gowns and we will never once hear the clucking of teeth. Not that we care anyway.

I’ll wait. Not forever.

With Love,

Retly Corm

Architects Combatting Not Only the Recession...

From what I have learned over the past month, there are three major threats to the architecture profession, within its own industry (i.e. not even pertaining to the aftermath of the Great Recession). I'm presenting the three issues to you in a nutshell below, for your own awareness.

1.) Licensing of Interior Designers authorizing them to seal drawings for permits. The argument is that granting them this license is compromising public health, safety and welfare, because they do not have the same education, training and evaluation as architects do. Obviously, if interior designers can seal drawings for permits, that is tapping into the architects' client base creating even more competition for work. (This was an issue up for discussion at AIA PA's Architects Day in Harrisburg 2 weeks ago.)

2.) In Texas, engineers are fighting for the right to provide "architectural services." The argument is the same, architects alone should be the designers of "any structure that's for human habitation." The bill with greatest viscosity right now is called HB 2284. (This information is taken from April's issue of Architect.)

3.) "Since congress passed the Brooks Act in 1972, all federally funded architecture projects have been governed by the qualifications-based selection (QBS) process." State legislators are currently trying to get rid of this QBS process in an effort to cut costs. What the QBS process does, is allows all architects to compete for a job based upon their qualifications for it - NOT by the lowest bid. The argument (which makes a ton of sense unless you don't think about it at all) is that when you are trying to get a project, you don't fully know the depth of it or what problems exist. Only once you have been awarded the contract are you able to delve in, determine what problems exist and begin to generate options for resolution. "The owner is hiring the architect not to solve the problem, though that's part of it, but to first help define the problem. ... When you're bidding a project, you have to assume the project is already defined, and there lies the rub: It isn't defined." You don't want architects trying out out-bid each other, because then you will be sacrificing quality there, the architects will need to cut costs and it's just a snowball effect thereafter. (These quotes and information are excerpts from Architect's April issue, page 25.) I should note that this issue is partially relative to the Great Recession, but also relative to the fact that the current legislators were not around at the time of the Act's adoption and therefore don't understand its importance.

IDP's Education Component

I just received the NCARB publication Direct Connection in the mail yesterday (the first time I have received it since establishing my NCARB record 4 years ago). I am in the process of reading it and I have already discovered some things I wish to share.

Back when we were in school, you could establish your NCARB record and begin participating in the IDP as soon as you had completed your third year in an architecture school. Now, you can "begin documenting IDP experience as early as [your] freshman year of architecture school, or in some cases even earlier." Holy smokes! I thought I was pretty up to speed on the IDP transition, but I definitely had not heard this before! I'll make additional posts if any other earth-shattering news crops up!

Partner, Let Me Upgrade U!

This weekend I followed through with a major upgrade I have been planning for the shanty. It involved turning the out-swinging, water-loving door into an in-swinging, water-deflecting door. This included the installation of a doorknob, new hinges, new brackets (as I used 2x4s as the structure of my door), a threshold, a door sweep and new doorstops.

Observe the final product below:

I learned a ton from this experience, but most importantly is the sensation that I accomplished this on my own. I think doors are probably pretty easy to install, when you buy them pre-made, or at least have a door of a standard size. Because my "custom" door is 27" wide by 72" tall, I had to use a hacksaw to cut the threshold and door sweep - I've never cut metal like that before!

The doorknob was a pain in the buttocks to do because I had some faulty equipment, and I think 2x4s are a little more finicky when receiving drill saw attachments. Also, the chiseling was tough in the 2x4s for the same reason. I had to do chiseling elsewhere on the project, and I would offer the chiseling I did for the door was not my best.

It's not exactly how I had imagined in, but I am super impressed that I did this all by myself. I think this never-ending shanty project is turning into a nice little architecture laboratory... Sort of like my case study for Arch History IV, Eva Jiricna. Jiricna used her apartment as a "laboratory" where she tested out new building products before specifying them for her projects. I'm not quite to that point, but it is in the back of my mind...