Years to recover from all of the damage (With Videos!)

So believe it or not, I have finally, finally come to the end of my NCARB Hours - meaning I am now primed to take the registration exams and go "legit".

My intent waaaaay back in 2009 was that I would be registered by the time I was 27. I was 24 then and figured '3 years - no sweat'. I'm 30 (almost 31) now, and it's been about seven years. Seven. Years.

Lord.

In a lot of ways, it feels like it happened overnight, in other ways, every day has been a lifetime. But these kinds of moments make you take stock. Which, let's get real, is boring for everyone else.

Life crises are only interesting to the people who are having them. There's a sense of unearned profundity, usually about death, and typically the crisis ends with the least interesting realization on the planet. That life is short. It's almost as boring as any 'Coming of Age' movie that ends with "I found something even better that summer than the Old Pirate's Gold...me". 

Gross. 

But while I think I'm still a good decade until a fully-fledged mid-life crisis here's what I've found, professionally, over the past seven years.

1) If Brittany Spears Can Survive 2007, You Can Survive This

Not only did she survive it, but she released "Blackout" the most underrated of her albums. You're tough. You can do this. You're going to realease "If You Seek Amy" and "Work B*tch" later. 

2) Treat Yo' Self

Here's the thing. You are allowed to take a break from this stuff. Architecture is hard. And while I can't speak from male experience, I can confirm that being a woman is really, really hard. Sometimes it blows chunks. If it's not a sexist comment about your place in an office, it's having to explain that maternity leave is not the same as a vacation. (PS - never let them make you do everyone else's admin support just because "you're so organized" it's a trap). You are ALLOWED to take some time off. 

3) When to Quit

I've always known when to quit a job and that is when I hear 4 simple words "Same Shit, Different Day" that means these people have given up. Not only that, they've decided to make their life your problem. Worst of all, the person who takes this attitude thinks that they're 'Jim' from 'The Office', when they are almost always 'Greg' from 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend'. My advice - Run. Run as far and as fast as you can.

4) Making a Great Exit

When you do eventually leave, don't burn those bridges. Plan your exit gracefully and don't treat your projects like "Welp - not my problem anymore". This is a small business, you're going to run into these people again. Stay friends with your friends. Forget your enemies. Keep the numbers - trust me.

5) I Don't Want That For You

It's tough out there, and is only getting tougher. Your parents, siblings, friends, are going to ask you how things are going for you. And your knee-jerk reaction is going to be to embellish the positive and say everything is fine when it's decidedly not. Someone you love is really sick, You're up to your eyeballs in debt, You lost your job, Someone you loved decided they didn't love you back anymore, or you fell out of love with someone and are completely racked with guilt. It's devastating. And there's something in American Culture which makes talking about anything that's not 100% positive a taboo. Vulnerability is actually incredibly useful. If you're having a hard time in your personal life, go to someone who will understand and explain it to them. Sometimes that person is even your boss. It's ok to be a human being.

So that's it - I'm all out of advice. Will keep you posted about how these exams go.